Time Flies
Mommy's Angel
My little girl turned 9 April 17th this year…. so this was my 9th Mother’s Day….
This was also my 3rd brain surgery I had, 3 months ago May 12th!! That was such a blessing… as for these were the first of her birthday and Mother’s Day I was truly well for. And for that, I am so grateful.
It took many years of pain, anguish, tears, struggles, re-gripping, grasping Christ in faith all over. As for it is very difficult to go thru two prior brain surgeries that did good in small circumstances for seizures and auras, helped my faith grow more and more-become reliant on Christ… but they did not answer my seizure disorder. And in between I did have amazing times with family… but I had more epileptic strife getting in the way, and that was tough. I watched my own seizures worsen with certain medications I would take, during them and also when I would ween for several weeks off of one and onto another. My body still would just flip out BIG TIME without it–and with it. Was a lose lose situation.
But the amazing part, it is never a lose lose situation with Christ. He always has answers. And I thank Him and praise Him for that. As for most speciality facilities for neurology don’t even take, well many first brain surgeries–but second ones and third are a big no no. I am ever so grateful for my specialty doctors at Mayo Hospital-whom have such hearts for the true need of the patient, and not their statistics. As for the second one they had some worries about-but I had so much faith. We went the next step of extra testing with the in depth electrodes in my brain-to show them what parts they were wanting to take out, if they did what would happen. Very amazing. As for my third rocked even more-as for we did that in depth electrodes —here is a glamour photo of the pain I was in, but greatly medicated praise God!! –>
A little Pain
I love this photo. Not for looks. As for what they did for me was remarkable. For what Jesus got me thru and held their hands thru. Was just amazing. They did the normal in depth electrodes, as in this picture of pain. 
But on day 12 following all of this, my neurosurgeon did the awake brain surgery–literally AWAKE. And you have to be an odd ball who is fearless, like me to handle it. I am one who is totally entertained by it-amazed!! Asking about it during set up-comforting nurses getting me ready, as for all are nervous that I am. And this type of surgery is the type, that the moment if the patient freaks out, or gets uncomfortable-is the moment everything is wrapped up and can’t proceed-too much liability and damage could be done. But I just rocked thru our ROCK! Even during the pain of it, I was able to still crack my jokes. This is a part I love about myself that God created.
And I love the fact that I am three months seizure free. Driving. Very much functioning more than ever in years! At the gym again!!! Treadmill time for cardio, weights to bring back the muscles I’ve always had from long term gymnastics and weight lifting–they were withering!! And basketball with my hubby and kiddo and ROCK CLIMBING I LOVE IN THE GYM!! I LOVE THAT!! It has been awesome!!
Love you all!! Know, you all have answers out there. They just don’t always come overnight. Sometimes God is forming a close relationship of love, trust, and obedience with Him… He has His timing and plans. Keep praying!! This was a decade of His love pouring for me, and still is.
In His Love
Heather J Siebens
http://www.twitter.com/AliveinMe
Pumpin it
Add comment May 12, 2010 epilepsycures
The Wellness Challenge
Heath
Health is here. Something we have been waiting for-for some time. Let’s just say, right before she was born was when I got hit hard with my epilepsy out of control. So many medical conditions this beautiful, now 9-year-old observed and learned about quick.
I know she was born with an amazing, kind, loving heart. But having a mom whom she loves so dearly, that is facing more than one illness and side effects of them everyday, her heart opened up in love for me as her mom, and as a protector of me that “understood.” She knew the days that were really tough, and she’d double ask on others to see if it was a day that we could play or go to the park down the street. She is also one that either was born with carefulness, or is something she drew in, during my illness, and strife of my ex husband attempting to be a far away dad-later in her life. She was very cautious. Not with just streets or heights. She just is cautious with about everything-and keeps her eyes on me–her mom. She would overlook more days than I ever knew, checking to see how she thought I might feel. Praying I was ok! She was always one remarkable child-well behaved, so loving. Yet, I do feel a lot was fear of losing me in one of my brain-surgeries.
She was so excited for this last brain surgery. Part was yes, very scared. But she had seen me go thru 2 brain resections. She felt inside, perhaps this one would get my mom better, more and more everyday-so we can do more and more that we love. And she was such a doll thru all the surgery and after. Yet I had to realize over the past year, while so sick, things had been altered much more than she and I were ever used to. We actually had quite some time in life when it was just she and I, in all circumstances, in our one bedroom apartment. I then saw how much dad was taking on, and even herself.
So we had planned to go to the mall-just she and I. And when I came all dressed, ready to get her-she was shocked! Didn’t know if I would really feel well enough, yet. As well as this field trip. She was afraid to ask me at first. But then I got a letter from the teacher asking. She was excited when I said of course I’d go. But the night before-she was talking about the trip in the tense as if it was just her going, not me. I asked her if she didn’t want me to. She turned to tell me–YES, OF COURSE. But she didn’t want to hurt my head or cause a seizure. My little heart just melted she takes so much on in that beautiful, young, CHILD-LIKE brain…. GO BE YOUNG!!! Let me tell you what is going on, but wow… I do thank you for such a heart, Tory.
That part of her reminds me of myself when I was little. I loved my mommy so much. It was all about her. But it isn’t. She needs to live, and be happy I am well– thank God for everyday we have. I have “missed” a lot that normal, healthy moms feel and do-for years. But we also have quite the bond and story for life. No regrets. Just a lot of adjusting to something so good in life!
I love my Tory so much… hug your kids. Her 9th birthday was the first one I was completely well for!! WOW!
Blessings!
Heather Siebens
@AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures
HAPPINESS
1 comment April 23, 2010 epilepsycures
Thrilled
Flexible
I had an amazing appointment with my awesome neurologist Dr. Joseph F. Drazkowski at Mayo Hospital here in Phoenix, AZ. I was able to walk in with such cheer and smiles… which comforted HIM BIG-after we hugged he was able to sit down in relief!! Relief of no seizures this time!! No awful side effects or loss of sight or memory etc. It is honestly amazing how much the doctors heart truly is in it for the patients as well-which we always need to remember. I have seen this awesome neurologist for over 8 years, been thru so many “answers” together, that didn’t fall thru-yet we kept pushing forward, as Drazkowski knew we’d find an answer! He always had great positivity, and I am ever so grateful!!
We were able to share stories of what was going on in the eight weeks of recovery for me. What all I was doing. How quick I recovered. How exciting this is. Compared it to the 2 prior resections, in amazement!! We shared time with family during holidays- (which is always a fun story!!) He loves to see if I do make it thru family SEIZURE FREE!! We all know that can be stressful!!! I sure do!! It was great talks of past times I was so thankful for- Jesus guiding me to call him the night I overdosed so much I shouldn’t be here. He very much took care of that. This is one neurologist that truly never gives up on anything. Which is why when Obamacare begins to light up, and will show any change in seeing him, or his pay-anything… my blood begins to boil!!
So to end our talk about that… Obamacare-and how all the docs at Mayo would like him to kindly change his mind and focus on happiness of foreign countries or getting oil prices back down, whatever… he had to show me one of the new annoying implemented papers for it…. AT EVERY APPOINTMENT I am supposed to sign this paper that yaps about how many times the doc washed his hands-TWICE, answered questions, had on jacket- etc…. etc.. Even have a nurse that scopes the floors to interrupt and ask herself to double-check, like a cold call. Just thought this was ridiculous! People know how to call Patient Care, and my neurologist took care of me with one complaint I had about the doc prior him one time two years ago!! This is childish.
I have grown up… haven’t you? More paper, more trees, more trash. God only knows what this will do with the Obamacare even more.
Either which way, without it fully in control, last Tuesday, I had a marvelous follow-up with my neurologist Dr. Drazkowksi, who means the world in neurology, psychology, and care to me. I will not gamble that!! The White House looks like they need repetitive letters!!
Blessings all!! Pray you all are well!! Those who aren’t– Mayo is amazing!!!
In His Love,
Heather Siebens @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures
http://www.twitter.com/AliveinMe
http://www.twitter.com/EpilepsyCures
http://www.youtube.com/Hetty4Christ
http://hiswill4me.blogspot.com
http://manyepilepsycures.blogspot.com
http://www.causes.com/epilepsycures
2 comments April 12, 2010 epilepsycures
Excitement!
Excitement
We sure all achieve excitement. All at different levels. For different reasons.
I was sure excited for birthdays, stay-overs, gymnastics meets, and travel when I was young. Then friendship, travel, beachin’ it, job-force, and blessing of a beautiful child and new husband as an adult. Then it moved to a totally new level when illness set in. I was excited to be able to function the next day. To be able to get thru a day without remembering when ex beat me-and turning to my overdosing. Going one day without one seizure. To be able to smile and help others smile as well. Moving on-To learn that Jesus is my Lord and Savior, finally. To find my true love throughout such a crazy life. To get thru each year, with new seizure issues inclining-with amazing doctors figuring out something amazing each year– until they found the FINAL ANSWER!!
My personal excitement this week is my appointment with my neurologist this Wednesday. First time after my 3rd brain resection there at Mayo Hospital. We had many complications-personal issues such as stress from being beaten after first resection in 2002. And body not able to soak up several medications. Moved onto second, which was very beneficial, than third. The third I just had in February-I will be ever so grateful, and amazed. They did it awake-and I was absolutely conscience for it. That amazed me. It was fun for me, except for the pain in the ending part. But amazing!
I have been seizure free since the resection on February 12th-which will be such relieving news for my neurologist. I saw my neurosurgeon last week-he was so delighted!! Thank you Dr. Zimmerman! But my most frequent specialist at Mayo-who has seen me thru such drastic times, both neurological and psychological-will be more than relieved… and he deserves that and more. I am ever so gracious for the care Dr. Joseph F. Drazkowksi provides at Mayo Hospital here in AZ-one who does it with heart, not just as a career. Sees it from the patients eyes. And I am ever so grateful God made sure I saw him!
This is where I will always make sure I have the RIGHT type of health care- one that I can choose Dr. Drazkowski- not one that makes me go else where… as for the “else where’s” didn’t fulfill my needs before. Not just medically, but personally. Know that matters.
Blessings to you all!
Heather J Siebens
Dr. Drazkowski
Add comment March 29, 2010 epilepsycures
Grateful
JOY
I wake up today, everyday, in so much JOY– thankful that I know I am seizure free finally after 32 years, and my 3rd resection. I am ever so grateful so I can continue healing to be a better follower of Christ, wife, mother and friend for all.
I have many goals in life. But taking them all in stride… taking time out for myself. To enjoy the things I wasn’t completely able to prior when ill. To focus on Jesus and family… and be sure to also reach into myself… letting God take control, guiding me in His plans, His timing.
I’ve learned so much over the years during my illness. So there is not one part of me that is bitter. There was just this “learning” Heather… one who would sure, get upset at times of drastic troubles. But God, and my amazing docs at Mayo Hospital would be so uplifting-and get me back on my course. As well as a very loving husband. One who yes, was very fearful of my 2nd and 3rd brain resections- but one who was because he loves me so much!! And he made it thru!!
Overall, I can sit here, and honestly tell you I am ever so grateful that I went thru this the moment I got pregnant back in 2000. That is what sent my seizures flying, and changed them. I am grateful as for #1 I found Jesus #2 I have an awesome family #3 blessed with an amazing little girl, who also has epilepsy #4 I have learned where to focus, when not well
Thru all of this, I had my hard times of no one being there. But then I was ever thankful when I began to see Mayo Hospital- they were who I had, while I was searching for Jesus. My family did “tough love” in more of a aggressive way. In a situation of despair- not usual addiction. Not one where I would reach for anything, anytime. Just when hard thoughts of ex beating me would arise, and I’d pop the pills I was given too much of while pregnant to control seizures-my brain just recalled that. I am ever so grateful that Jesus called me to my church I found… and blessed me with my husband I have today back in my struggling days, and blessed me with amazing docs and an open mind for them at Mayo Hospital….ever so grateful.
Know, in any struggle… you are never alone. There is always someone who has been there. You just have to speak up- reach out… someone with an amazing heart, WILL REACH BACK!! I am one of them today!
Blessings!!
Heather J Siebens @AliveinMe @EpilepsyCures
http://manyepilepsycures.blogspot.com
http://www.causes.com/epilepsycures
http://epilepsycures.ning.com
http://hiswill4me.blogspot.com
http://www.twitter.com/AliveinMe
http://www.twitter.com/EpilepsyCures
Deep Wires
4 comments March 27, 2010 epilepsycures
True Care
My Precious One
Yes, my husband is my precious one. And I am able to sit here and type this because of the amazing, caring doctors that our AWESOME LORD Jesus Christ guided me to. And I am forever grateful.
They saw me from the moment that a neurologist in Alabama gave up. And I have had epilepsy my whole life- and now can see clearly how several gave up-even before it was “complicated”. One just “treated” without any idea what would have been best to at least try-step up to the plate. Another one I had in my early 20′s at a well renowned place in San Diego– even the charge is well renowned. However, the diagnosis was very incorrect, and overlooked. But, the doctor just kept my diagnosis the same as it always was, from 14 yrs of age- to 22… and there was quite a change in seizure type. Which happens a lot. I know that well-as for I always had the type with aura before- then all of a sudden I was sitting in the lane to get on the San Diego Freeway- when I awoke- I was the only one there!! No pre-seizure feeling! Plus the change in incorrect medication didn’t help, it worsened.
It wasn’t until I was sent to Mayo by an awesome private neurologist here in the Phoenix East Valley. He referred me to Mayo Hospital to see Dr. Drazkowski, as for he felt that brain surgery was an option. Which was such a blessing. It was an option. More than once or twice, as for I was a complicated case. When domestic violence sets in just following first brain resection, a bit of PTSD will set in. Worse part of it is, is that the PTSD didn’t cause seizures, it caused me to lean into overdosing. Taking large, large quantities of Phenobarbital to numb pain.That was the medication that controlled my seizures after first brain resection-even after my ex beat me. But I couldn’t stay on it. And that is where Mayo was still amazing. Most run from that. Afraid of lawsuit. Might deal with one overdose-set you straight and refer you to care, legally. But I went thru 3 hospitalizations there, and many times in tears with my neurologist. In addition to an added on psychiatrist and psychologist. But they all hung on-seeing I sincerely cared about my health and status. And truly cared for my neurologist, and all he put into my care. I never wanted to let him down. That was the beauty of his specialty as a neurologist. One who sees it thru the patients shoes. Feels for them. Shows them true care. Mayo never folds.. not one doctor I have had!
Thru every step of my eight years so far at Mayo, I have seen all different types of specialists. From neurology for epilepsy, RLS, Migraine, neurosurgeon, psychiatry, hematology, ENT, urology, the list could continue… as for I have interesting cases-from what was simpler epilepsy to intractable epilepsy-finally fixed with a 3rd AWAKE brain resection, to restless leg and TMJ (jaw popping out at night) to one kidney that works, absorbing of certain vitamins ceased – so I have to be infused, to air in my salivary gland!! HUMOR! But all of this can flare at more times-and lessen at others. I thank God they were able to proceed with this last brain resection, as for this Mayo does not benefit from the time spent in the office or the type of medication they prescribe, or how many they prescribe. This place is salary-and are out to fight for your well-being, less medication, of any type. And I am forever grateful.
I thank God for guiding me here. As for yes, my need has lessened… but my heart of thanks has grown. And I am forever grateful-standing up for all – ALL to be able to see Mayo docs, no matter what insurance, or non-insurnace you have!
There was this amazing clip by the past CEO of Mayo, if you haven’t seen if, click on here –> http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/podcasts/gupta/site/2010/03/22/sanjay.gupta.md.03.22.cnn and forward to 8:39 to listen to what Former CEO Denise Cortese, MD had to say! Blog intro is http://healthpolicyblog.mayoclinic.org/2010/03/25/former-mayo-clinic-ceo-denis-cortese-m-d-on-cnn-with-sanjay-gupta-m-d/#comment-1320
Blessings and wellness your way!
Heather J Siebens
http://manyepilepsycures.blogspot.com
http://www.causes.com/epilepsycures
http://hiswill4me.blogspot.com
http://www.twitter.com/EpilepsyCures
http://www.twitter.com/AliveinMe
MY 7 week Scar
Add comment March 26, 2010 epilepsycures
Medical Choices
Heather 4 Mayo
I want to have medical CHOICES. Don’t you? Overall, when you have a cold, it doesn’t matter as much where you quickly go to get something to put that sickness at quick, recoverable ease. But when things begin to get out of control, in an illness that you need a great specialist for– you want, and need choice.
I went all my life, as an epileptic. I am not overly sure why others cannot find ways to find the great coverages I have. But you have to speak up-reach out-press for what you want. Not let others control who you are, what you can have and more, or settle for less and not run that extra mile. I went many years seeking correct help, well-known places, but nightmare doctors. I was finally blessed with an amazing neurologist here in Arizona at Mayo Hospital- Dr. Joseph F. Drazkowski- whom is a epileptologist, and one who reaches out to care for everything that interacts in his patients life- the care he provides.
He was there for me in the beginning, with the excitement of my first brain surgery. He also knew my marriage then was very rocky. He is one who has psychology background and can tell just by conversation. After my 1st brain surgery, he had appointments set up for when I would come back to visit in December 2002- as for I was moving to Texas where my ex husband was stationed. It wasn’t quite two months after that brain surgery in August that year, that my ex beat me, and Dr. Drazkowski was there by phone legally and medically, and honestly as a comforting caring doctor… letting me know it was all going to be okay.
It was at that point he turned into more than just a neurologist. He was a psychologist/psychiatrist even though he made sure he directed me to see both regularly. He was also one on his behalf, as my neurologist – who cared, yet needed to know why all of a sudden I was very addicted to my Phenobarbital, and how much. He kept close eye on me. Frequent appointments to make sure I was still stable. It was close to one last large amount- when I sent a call into him, and he heard how much I must have taken… and had me taken up to Mayo Hospital to begin a slow detox and change of medications. Which was the best turn of my life. I found Jesus. I really started my relationship with whom is now my husband. I was an amazing mom, from that day on… I knew what was wrong and right. It just took a neurologist with care and patience. One who wouldn’t throw it over his shoulder or fear anyone holding him liable for anything. Truly pressing forward for the wellness of the patient. I already went thru the nightmare of neurologists wiping their hands not knowing what to do-so this just touched my heart for good.
And it didn’t stop there. He always cared for my family and their well-being. My daughter, and her epilepsy… as he would make sure she had a wonderful pediatric neurologist here in the Valley. And he would even check her tests out and let me know what her activity was like compared to mine. Then come upon brain surgery choices for me… he truly cares. He really goes thru all testing first, all of the Mayo Neurology board several times… to make sure the next step is the keen step. Is it the step to take or is there a more suitable answer, for the patient and family.? Then when the answers come back to him-he is ready to rock! And his excitement for this 3rd and last brain resection was awesome. I thank God for specialists like him.
Overall, specialists like Dr. Joseph F. Drazkowski will not be of choice! If ObamaCare goes the way it was planned, then amazing docs like my neurologist, and neurosurgeon and so on from Mayo Hospital will either retire early, or hopefully still somehow open private “cash” practice, or go overseas as my family has thought about. But I love America. I love it Free. I love it United. I love it by Choice. I love it, in God we Trust. Where here shall I trust now? I have Freedom care, God’s Care… I don’t need Obama’s directly. I love the choice I have today. Don’t you?
I won’t stand in any line for my health. One that is any, and a different doc each time. I will do what I have to. For me, and my daughter.
Blessings to you all…
Heather J Siebens
http://www.twitter.com/AliveinMe
http://www.twitter.com/EpilepsyCures
http://www.causes.com/epilepsycures
http://epilepsycures.ning.com
http://manyepilepsycures.blogspot.com
Precious Tory
1 comment March 24, 2010 epilepsycures
Who should answer our healthcare questions?
Dr. Draz
If anyone, anywhere in the U.S.A should truly be relied upon to answer our questions on what the heck is going on with our healthcare needs, fall outs, and NOW completely incorrect, drastic decisions it should be the head of departments at Mayo Hospital in Phoenix, AZ; Rochester, MN; Jacksonville, FL.
I have watched this nation now go from choice- to being directed soon. And I thank God so much that HE made sure- HE made sure that my wonderful, brilliant, caring, insightful doctors at Mayo Hospital made sure I was able to proceed with my 3rd brain resection for Epilepsy. It was my 3rd, and my last one and was also done by my amazing neurosurgeon, Dr. Richard S. Zimmerman, and was done awake!! The technology they have is too far along to be held back by the government. To have the government direct us where to go, or allow us when to have tests done, or who to see… and sad part… not keep hospitals like Mayo Hospital moving forward with keeping their technology up and running and new technology and devices to come– on the horizon and in the hospital.
What would you do if you had your illness fixed at a remarkable, well renowned place, yet the government wants to drag us down to “socialistic” country and tell us where and when to go, and what we can have done??! Where is the freedom in this free country? We are free to choose. Free to work. Free to choose where to find which type of insurance we desire. If our work or personal work doesn’t provide it, I always looked at, even with a pre-existing condition, as a sign from God- to proceed to another job out there- He had other plans. As well as my husband did for me when I was really ill and not working. And today, because of that, I sit here now seizure free due to Mayo Hospital, Phoenix, AZ and my husband’s choice of new jobs and insurance we saw them provide. He could have had his own company, but sometimes we give up one, at least for a while, to embrace and conquer another… and watch how it was a true amazing choice, truly blessed!
We all have had choices. We still do now. What is yours? Mine is always, no matter how much I still owe Mayo Hospital after this last intense brain surgery, to continue going there for the rest of my life… and/or as long as they continue to stand strong against what ObamaCare has up its sleeve. If it turns out to be similar to what military medical care is like, you are looking into long waits, and doctors you won’t remember, and all medications of all kinds refilled more free, less care, that are less price. Therefore if someone is taking a cheap, overdosing painkiller-instead of referring them to psychiatric or psychology, they will just fill and refill the bottles. Brilliant. Mayo is far from that.
I plan to continue seeing my neurologist I see today, as long as he is still around. Along with ALL my other specialists there! Mayo is on fire to have Obama work with them, if he is willing. As for they care all about the patient and the quality of their life.
If you care about yours-family, friends, anyone’s… stand up!! Contact Mayo and see where YOU can support them as well to keep them the same tomorrow, as they are TODAY!
http://www.mayoclinic.org/development/
http://www.mayoclinic.org/news2010/5604.html
http://www.causes.com/epilepsycures
Blessings to you all!! Stand together in freedom, not reform. For us all to remember we are all free to give, to take, to endure! Reach out- let’s see how we can all keep this going, so Mayo stays going full speed!
In His Grip,
Heather J Siebens, patient and supported of Mayo Clinic
Phoenix, AZ
Twitter AliveinMe and EpilepsyCures
Alive and WELL
Add comment March 24, 2010 epilepsycures
